Private Fear

15 February 2011

I look into your eyes as

I will the tears not to fall

As I glance to you, trying

Failing to make it nothing

The same fear fills you

Tugs at your resolve

As fills me

Grabbing the floor from

Underneath my feet

My heart stutters

As we talk.

One lone tear makes

The long, slow journey.

You notice,

While I wish you hadn’t

You touch it, a sad look

A sad knowledge in your

Beautiful eyes

The eyes I constantly

Lose all sense of self within

You continue, stubborn

I try, my stubbornness

Weakened by your eyes

By your insisence

I hate myself for doubt

Hate that I can’t hide

I want to

Lord knows I crave it

But you see through

My clumsy disguise

As I weaken enough to tell you

Unsettled

Insecure

Unsure

Wanting but not knowing

Needing to believe

I can’t understand you

Though I understand

Perfectly

Too perfectly

Completely

We both give now,

Conceding private parts of ourselves

Too late to turn back

We talk

Acknowledge the fear

The feeling

Knowing more we move

Onward

Securely tethered once more

Later we fill our need

Basic

Instinctual

A final seal on a deal

Sealed with a kiss

Sealed with words

Wants and needs

Hurried, instant

Nothing matters

Nothing satisfies

We slow again, the last changes of pace

Slow

Hesitant

Loving

Fast Heated

Passion

Then

Slow again for the farewell

Words whispered and steps taken

I think we’ll be alright

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