Approval Seeker

10 December 2011

I remember the old days

When I watched every word

Every action pointed to you

Your approval was what I longed for

Why I watched my words

Watched my actions and thoughts

I was so scared

Scared that you’d disapprove

And now

Even now I still ache for the pride

In your voice when you talk of me

When you’re happy to know me

I still tailor my actions

Still watch my words,

Though not nearly as carefully

Because I know

Deep down, you know me

You approve no matter what

You know every nuance

Every twist and turn of me

I’m no longer yours

Nor are you mine

But I’m bound to you

And your approval is my drug

Your smile my golden medal

I smile as I remember

Those days of shy revelations

Where I feared you would hate me

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