I Shy

23 April 2012

I shy away
The deer fearing touch
The hand fearing burn
The cat fearing hurt
Every time I see you
It feels like a slap in my heart
The cave that’s rebuilding

The Bitter End

23 April 2012

I want to scream and yell and scratch
To battle you and make it hurt less
To ward away the pain with words
But at the same time
I just want you to take me into your arms
Convince me that all is well
Convince me that it’s all just a horrid dream
But I know it’s not
And I know we can’t go back there
This is the bitter end
But there was no ending
No finality
Just a ripping pain
Like flesh being torn

Now I know the meaning

When they say it’s til the bitter end

This is it

This excruciating emotional agony 

Entity

14 April 2012

I already long for you as a puzzle does it’s missing piece

I feel as though I’m part of the unit

I’m all too aware of the spaces your fingers aren’t in

and how your lips aren’t on mine

We fit so perfectly

Physically

Emotionally

Mentally

I long for the feeling of your soul near me

I yearn for your voice and the way we sleep

Like the same being fit together

Pulsing in synchronicity

It’s been so short a time

But already there’s a hole

That only your beautiful soul can fill

We’ve melded

Without the ritual

Without the ceremony

Melded into and entity

Entirely our own.

Miss Missing You

14 April 2012

I wouldn’t miss missing you

It’s the most delicious space

Knowing I have your love to miss

The amazing soul I call mine.

Unlocking The Deep

14 April 2012

As I unlock this part of me

I have to face the deepest hurts

The ones buried so far

As to not be seen

The memories that creep

The hurts that jump and tear

The scars that are still bleeding

Deep inside

Those unbidden tears

That you can’t withhold

Painful memories

Ones you haven’t yet let go of

When you hadn’t realized the true extent of the pain

Of how terrible it really was

How horrible he really was

Being reminded so suddenly

Jarring

Excruciating

But it needs to be dealt with

So you can move on

Move in the positive direction that you know you’re going in

But this joyous part of you won’t be gone

It will aid you along

The path of healing and love

Forget the toxicity

Forget the anger

The fear

The anguish

The abuse

Remember only those around you

The ones who love you

The ones who need you

Be your strength

The blinding force you truly possess

Be you

Not the abused little one you were

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